


Healer Mage

by joshuaorrizonte



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-07-10 23:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19914232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshuaorrizonte/pseuds/joshuaorrizonte
Summary: Asra can't get the apprentice's death out of his head. He wasn't able to help when the apprentice fell ill with the plague. But if he ever falls ill again, with Julian's help and training, he'll be able to help next time. But being a doctor isn't easy- a lesson Asra must learn, or he will fail.





	1. Chapter 1

Asra walked through the palace halls, his steps purposeful. He’d given a lot of thought to this; it was something he wanted to do. Something he _needed_ to do, for his own peace of mind. 

He only hoped that, after the history and heartbreak he’d inflicted on Julian, he’d agree to this. 

No one knew he was here. He had left Thomas at the shop, still sleeping soundly. He hadn’t even stopped by his parents’ quarters. He fully intended to, once he had talked this over with Julian. But he had to talk to Julian, before he gave himself time to talk himself out of this.

Nadia had given Julian a proper office in the palace, and although the two rarely talked anymore, Asra knew where it was, and somehow- just a feeling- knew that Julian would be awake and working already. 

He stood in front of the office door, took a deep breath, and knocked firmly. The response, several seconds later, was a startled, “Come in?”

Asra opened the door and stepped inside. Julian looked at him for a moment, surprise on his face, before standing. “Uh, Asra. It’s early- is everything alright?”

Asra nodded, understanding the question for what it was. “Thomas and I are fine. I just...” He hesitated. There was so much left unsaid between them; their parting had been unpleasant, and neither of them had spoken of it, not even when Julian had him arrested for murder. “I have a favor to ask of you.”

An intrigued look crossed Julian’s features. “Oh?”

“I need someone to teach me medicine. I want it to be you.”

Surprise, now, and then confusion. “You were never interested in learning medicine before. Not even during the plague. I offered, even, if you recall.”

“I recall.”

“What’s changed?”

Asra was expecting this. He spoke carefully, going over his reason quickly in his head so he didn’t falter. “First, I admit this is purely selfish,” he started. “But... the Devil happened. I thought I was enough to protect Thomas, and I nearly lost him again.”

“Medicine wouldn’t have stopped Lucio from taking Thomas’s body, Asra.” His voice was carefully neutral.

“No, I know that.” Asra looked down, and then back up. “And it obviously wasn’t enough to protect him during the red plague. But ordinary problems- ordinary illnesses, injuries- it would be enough there.”

“You have your magic.”

Asra winced. He had flung that in Julian’s face when he’d offered to teach him medicine during the red plague. Of course he would remember it. “Magic isn’t all-powerful.”

Julian’s lips quirked in a small smile, breaking his careful poker face. “Neither is medicine. Asra, if this is something you really, really want to do, then I’m willing and able. But you need to have realistic expectations.”

“I- I understand. But I am not letting what happened to Thomas during the plague happen ever again. If learning this will help me protect him...”

His voice trailed off. Julian shook his head, and Asra’s heart sank. It must have shown on his face, because Julian quickly said, “I’m not refusing you. In fact...” He seemed to fight with himself before continuing. “I think a doctor who can use magic would be a powerful healer. And-“ He hesitated again. “I might have my own uses for you,” he said slowly. “Asra, if I do this for you... I do it under the condition that you work with me. That means you will be a _doctor_ , Asra- not a fortune teller who can heal. That’s my condition for agreeing to this.”

The demand took Asra by surprise. “Shouldn’t you wait to see if I’m any good at this before you make demands like that?”

Julian smiled. “I have faith in you. But I think you need to seriously consider this before agreeing. I-“

“I’ll do it.”

"-because asking you to make a career change is a big thing and- wait, what?"

"I said I'd do it."

Julian regarded him suspiciously. "You've been a fortune teller all your life, Asra."

"Didn't you tell me that Thomas was apprenticed to you before... _before?_ He had been a magician his entire life. This is no different."

Julian's face flushed. "This is _very_ different, Asra."

"How so?"

"Never mind, you wouldn't understand." Asra suppressed an irritated response at that as Julian continued, "If you're absolutely sure... We can start tomorrow. I want to write to Doctor Satrinava to get their guidance, but we can start with the basics while I'm waiting for their response. You're already familiar with some of the herbs we'll be working with- I'm sure you've used, for example, willow bark?"

Asra blinked. "Yes. I make a tea out of it and use it for pain relief."

"That's what we use it for, as well."

"Wait, you use magic?"

"Well, no. It's not magical, Asra. Do you do anything with it when you use it?"

Asra blinked. "Well, I- I charm it, and-"

"It works without the charm. And it helps reduce fevers as well."

"I didn't know that." Asra regarded him thoughtfully. "There must be quite a bit of overlap between medicine and magic."

"The components, at least. Thomas taught me that, when he was apprenticed to me." Julian smirked. "But I need you to promise me that you won't just default to magic when healing someone. You'll be training to be a doctor. That means going the normal route first."

"Alright." Asra nodded. "I think I can do that."

"Good. Did you tell Thomas about this plan yet?"

Asra sighed. "No, I... I wanted to make sure you would teach me before I told him."

Julian gave him an odd look. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Nothing, never mind." It was a conversation he didn't want to have with him, and he wasn't going to if he didn't need to. "I better go tell him about my plans now. Thanks, Ilya."

"Don't mention it. I could use another pair of hands around here. Good luck, and I'll see you tomorrow."

Asra nodded and closed the door behind him as he left. He wanted to have this conversation with Thomas but... Since he was here, he might as well talk to his parents, too. 

He still felt weird about them. They were trying so hard to reconnect with him, and he wanted to as well, but something was making him hold back. He wasn't sure he could forgive as easily as he thought. He knew, in his head, that what had happened wasn't their fault. It was Lucio's fault, and the Devil's. But he'd needed them. His life had been hell those first few years, and they were _gone_. His heart wanted to hold onto that anger for some reason. He loved them, but...

He shook his head, as if to shake the unpleasant thoughts from his mind. He was being unreasonable. He knew he was, and he wasn't going to take his hangups out on his parents. With that determination, he put it out of his head and finished the trek to their quarters, knocking softly on the door.

Salim opened it, surprise on his face. "Asra! This is a surprise. What are you doing here? Come in, sit- have you had any breakfast? Your mother and I were just about to eat. There's plenty to share."

Asra stepped into the rooms, glancing at Aisha as she stood. "Don't get up, Mom," he said with a smile. "And it's fine. I'm about to head back to the shop but I wanted to see you before I left, since I'm already here."

"Why _are_ you here?" Salim asked. "It's very early. Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine," Asra replied soothingly. "I'm... making a career change. I've asked Ilya- Julian- to take me on as an apprentice."

Aisha and Salim looked at each other. "That's incredible news," Aisha said, smiling, "but why?"

He sighed. "You know what happened to Thomas four years ago. I don't want that to happen ever again. If I have to become the best doctor in the north to stop it, that's what I'm going to do."

"He's not ill, is he?"

"No, he's fine. This is purely precautionary." He winced. "But I was all but useless when we were researching the plague. I know there was nothing else I could've done about it, but if something like that ever happens again, I- I want to be able to help."

"That's admirable," Salim said. "You know you have our full support."

Asra smiled. He was starting to wonder why he had been so nervous about this. Was it just because it was Julian? "Thanks, Dad. I better get going back to the shop. Thomas is going to be wondering where I am if I don't get back soon."

"Give him our love," Aisha said with a smile. "We love you, Asra."

"Love you too. Have a good day!"

Asra took his leave of them, his steps light. Maybe he'd stop at Selasi's stand and get some pumpkin bread for breakfast.

* * *

Thomas had taken the news well, as pleasantly surprised at Asra's parents had been. Asra invited him to renew his apprenticeship with Julian; he was sure Julian wouldn't mind. Thomas had just shook his head. "No, I'll stick with the shop. Someone's got to be here to give fortunes now that you're going to be at the palace all day."

It was said with a smile, but Asra couldn't help but wince. "If... if you don't want me to do this, I won't. I..."

His voice trailed off. Thomas had put a hand over his and said softly, "I want you to do whatever your heart guides you to do. What I want is immaterial here."

"But do you- are you okay with it?"

"I'm fine with it. I can handle the shop alone, I promise." Thomas leaned over and kissed him. "You're going to be a fantastic doctor."

Asra wasn't sure about that assessment, but he wasn't going to contradict him. Asra was now walking to the palace, humming softly to himself, his heart light. This wasn't what he envisioned doing with his life, but he knew that if it didn't work out, he could always go back to giving fortunes. And he didn't think he would have to give up fortune telling altogether, either. But this was to keep Thomas safe, and he was certain he'd see it through.

The guards let him into the palace without any question, and he went straight to Julian's office. Julian sat behind his desk, looking nervous, a nervousness that didn't quite smooth over when Asra came in. "Oh, uh. You came. Good. I wondered if you were really going to."

"I meant what I said. So were do we begin?"

Julian grinned. "Eager to get started, huh? Very well. Lesson one: leeches."

Asra put a hand to his face and groaned. "Not leeches," he muttered. "I'm not here to learn about leeches."

"Leeches were my first lesson and they're going to be yours. Are you in or not, Asra?"

With a long-suffered sigh, Asra looked back up. "Fine. Tell me about leeches."

Julian's face lit up. "Good. Now then..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT NOTE: CHILD DEATH

Asra's lessons went well, well enough that soon Julian was asking him to assist him in the clinic he ran. It was out of the way- the Palace was quite a distance from the city, and there were doctors actually in the city to treat illnesses- but his doors were open to those who wanted to come see the Countess's personal physician. 

But Asra kept defaulting to magic. Severely scrapped knee? Magic. A cough? Magic. Broken arm? He could heal that in two minutes, and he did so. Julian watched with growing dismay and irritation as Asra dealt with the fourth patient they'd seen that day by magically forcing back a fever. As he waved goodbye to the little girl and her mother, Julian approached him. "I'm going to need you to stop doing that."

"Doing what?" Asra looked at him in surprise.

Julian gestured in the direction of the door. " _That_. If you're just going to heal everything with magic, why am I training you in medicine?"

"Because I asked you to. Ilya, if I can help these people more completely with magic, then-"

"That's not what you're here to do."

"But-"

"I get it. You want to help people. That's _why_ you're here. But you're doing everyone who comes in here a disservice."

Asra's expression went blank. "By healing them faster?"

"What am I supposed to do if you develop a reputation and you're not here when someone expects immediate relief?"

Now Asra was annoyed. "Are you serious? Are you really expecting me to let people suffer because you're afraid of being embarassed?"

"No," Julian said, his patience wearing thin. "Because the number of magicians who are also doctors in Vesuvia is woefully low. Get people expecting to be healed instantaneously and you're going to run into problems."

Asra sighed. "Julian... If I can ease someone's pain without the long recovery, then-"

"That scraped knee did _not_ require magic. It required washing and a bandage." Julian grimaced. "This might not work after all."

Asra met his gaze evenly. "I think you're just uncomfortable around magic and that's why you don't want me using it here."

Julian frowned sharply. "Yes, I'm uncomfortable around magic. That has nothing to do with the fact that you're not putting any of the skills I'm _trying_ to teach you into practice!"

"I think if you knew magic, you'd be right here alongside me, trying to do things the easy and painless way first." Julian looked away, and Asra reached out and took his wrist. "Let me teach you healing magic, Ilya."

"You know I'm useless at magic."

"You don't need to be. Anyone can use magic, if they have the right tools at their disposal." Julian had stiffened when Asra grabbed his wrist, but made no effort to pull away. "I can show you some basics. Like how to heal over superficial wounds, like that scraped knee."

Julian stared at their hands, holding himself tensely. After a second, Asra realized there was more to Julian's stiff posture, and pulled away uneasily. As he broke their contact, Julian took a slightly ragged breath. "You know how I feel about magic," he said, finally looking up. "I'm not going to learn it. I'm not _able_ to learn it. I don't want you to bring it up again."

Asra shook his head, although he accepted Julian's refusal with a small smile. "Very well. You keep doing things the hard way. I'll... do my best not to get magic involved unless I have to."

Julian was as close to stern as Asra had ever seen him as he replied, "If there's something serious enough that you have to use magic, let me handle it. It's likely too severe for an apprentice to handle."

That got him irritated, but he hid it under a blank smile and said, "It's getting late. Are we done for the day?"

The doctor looked up at the clock on the wall. "Yes, I think we are. Care to join me for drinks down at the Rowdy Raven?"

Asra's blank smile fell away. The last time he'd been out for drinks with Julian was before Julian was accused of murder, and they had led to something that they both deeply regretted in the morning. But Asra knew that wouldn't happen this time. Not with Thomas around. There would be no harm in it. The smile came back, genuine this time. "Alright, if you're buying."

"I'm buying." Julian returned his smile, and the two of them locked up the clinic and left. 

The pair walked in silence for a few moments, before Julian broke it, a bit uneasily. "So, uh. How's Thomas?"

Asra glanced over at him. "He's fine. Things are going well for us. He's managing the shop fine on his own so far, but if it gets much busier we might have to hire someone to help."

"Another magician?"

"I don't think that will be necessary. I think someone to handle customers buying charms and whatnot will be sufficient. Thomas is still unsure about his skill in fortune telling, though, unfortunately. I don't know how to bolster his confidence in it."

  
"I think that will come with time, but-" Julian flashed him a grin. "If you think experience will help, I can ask him to give me a reading."

Asra raised his eyebrows at that. "Why would you want him to read the cards for you?"

"Oh, no reason. I was rather rude to him the last time I asked him to read for me-"

"Wait, when was this?"

Julian's eye widened, and then he looked down at the street in front of them as they walked. "It was... right before that mess with the Devil. You had just gone on your journey, and apparently the countess had just asked him to go to the palace to help her. Find me, that is."

Asra took this in for a moment. "So his reaction to you breaking into the shop-"

"I didn't break in, I still had a key-"

"-was to give you a reading?"

"To be fair to him, I didn't give him much of a choice. When he told me you were gone, I insisted rather vehemently. I wasn't even sure what I was looking to find out." Julian grinned. "He drew Death. I didn't give him a chance to tell me what it meant."

"That sounds like you." Asra chuckled softly, turning his attention back to the road before him.

Suddenly, there was a _crash_ , followed by a scream and the sound of wood splintering and metal twisting from the main road. The screaming continued, and every nerve in Asra's body went off as he made out the word: " _Help!_ " Asra and Julian looked at each other in alarm, and took off towards the sound. They turned from the side street they had been traveling onto the main thoroughfare in time to see the wreckage of a carriage in a heap against a building, the horse drawing it on the ground. The screaming was coming from the wreckage. As they approached it at a run, Julian pointed at one of the bystanders who was standing there, staring at the wreckage with wide eyes. "You!" he yelled. "Go get help! Go get the guards!"

It took the bystander a second to realize they were being spoken to, but when she did, she took off towards the guard station. Asra and Julian moved quickly but carefully, sifting through the splintered wood and metal to get to the inner compartment of the carriage. A woman knelt on the carriage's bench, holding a child in her arms, crying and screaming for help. The child was limp, blood streaming down their face from a huge gash in their head. "I'm a doctor," Julian said quickly, reaching for the child. 

"Help him!" the woman cried. "Please!"

Julian cradled the child gingerly and pulled him out of the carriage to lie him on the ground. The child was barely breathing, his lips already turning blue. Julian shrugged off his coat and cast around for something to bandage the wound with. Asra, instinctively knowing what Julian was looking for, quickly unwound his scarf and handed it to him. Julian took it, but stopped as he realized that the wound was too deep. "There's nothing I can do," he murmured. 

Asra knelt next to them, summoning magic to his hands. "Tell me how to help," he said firmly.

Julian looked at him hard, and then took a deep breath. "There will be damage to his brain. Can you heal it?"

"I can- I can try." Asra put his hands on the child's head, gingerly, very carefully sending his magic over the boy's head, searching for how deep the wound went. His heart went cold as he realized just how bad it was. Still, while there was life, there was hope. He did his best to still his panic and dread and focused entirely on the wound, trying to seal it from the inside in.

It felt like it took forever. He felt the little boy's life slipping away as he worked, and abandoned his healing to grab hold of his life and hang on. "I need another magician," Asra gasped. "Go get Thomas!"

As he spoke, though, he felt the boy's life slip from his grasp. The child exhaled, and didn't breathe in again. Terrified, Asra pressed two fingers to the child's throat, searching for his pulse. It was still. "No," he whimpered.

Julian put a heavy hand on Asra's shoulder. The guards were there by then, and the child's mother screamed when she realized what had happened. "It's alright," Julian murmured. "We did the best we could."

Asra shook his head as he stared mournfully at the child’s body, even as the mother gathered him up in her arms. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, cold tightness in his chest and stomach taking his voice away. “I tried...”

The woman didn’t respond, if she even could. Medics from the palace were there now, as were guards. Julian stood off to one side, talking to one of the guards, explaining what they had seen and done. Two of the medics tried to take the child’s body. In a daze, Asra could hear the hysterical note in the woman’s voice, and put his arms around her, whispering that it was alright, everything would be alright. Fresh blood got on his hands, and it was then that he realized she was hurt. “Let me help you,” he murmured, searching for the source of the blood. 

She seemed to still under his hands, and as a guard, whispering to her that they weren’t trying to take her baby away, but they needed to get him off the street, gently took the body from her arms.

Asra found the wound; a deep gash in her shoulder. He focused his magic there, but he had expended too much of it trying to heal the child. He fumbled with the discarded scarf and tore several ragged strips from it, binding the wound as best he could. “I’m so sorry,” he repeated, moving to embrace her again. She put her arms around him, buried her face in his shoulder, and cried.

He held her as another guard approached. “Doctor?” It took Asra a second to realize that the guard was addressing him. The protest that he was just an apprentice wouldn’t come out of his mouth. “We need to talk to her,” he said quietly. “Is she fit to move?”

“Her shoulder is hurt, badly,” he replied dully. “She needs to have it washed and properly bound.”

“There’s a night clinic a few blocks from here,” Julian said, coming up to them. “If you go down the thoroughfare for two blocks and then turn left, the clinic is three buildings down on the right. You can’t miss it.” Julian turned his attention to the woman in Asra’s arms. “If you come to the palace clinic in the morning, I’ll examine you and make sure everything looks good.”

“Thank- Thank you,” the woman said, her tears making her voice waver. She looked up at Asra. “Thank you for... for trying to help my boy. I- I-“

She broke down in tears again. The guard helped her stand, as the one Julian had been talking to came over to them. “Thank you for your assistance tonight. It’s late; can we escort you anywhere?”

“No, I think we’ll be fine,” Julian said sadly, helping Asra to his feet. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

“No. Let’s go to the Rowdy Raven.”

“Are you sure?” Julian asked, concern thick in his voice.

“Yes. I need a drink after that,” Asra replied, still sounding dazed.

Julian said nothing as he led Asra to a small fountain on the street. It was much smaller than the one at the square, but still large enough to allow them to wash the blood from their hands. That done, they continued their trek in silence. Julian broke it only to order their drinks at the bar, and they sat in silence still, nursing their drinks.

Asra finally spoke. “Have you ever lost someone before?”

“I was a plague doctor. I lost countless people.”

“I meant, personally.”

Julian stared into his drink. “Yes, actually. Several times.”

“How do you cope with it?”

Julian sighed. “You never get used to it, but it... it gets easier. You can’t save everyone, Asra. That’s a lesson it took me years to learn. The faster you learn it, the better. Ease the pain you can ease. Save the lives you can save. Let the rest go.”

Asra made a noncommittal noise into his glass as he finished the drink. “Asra,” Julian said slowly, turning his glass in his hands, “if... if I had been a magician, would we... would we have been able to save that boy?”

Asra looked directly at him for the first time since the boy’s death. “I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I- possibly, but he was already very far gone by the time we got there. Maybe with one of us anchoring his life and the other healing the wound, but that’s a big ‘maybe.’”

Julian made a noise of his own and knocked back the rest of his drink. “I’m not drunk enough for this,” he muttered, before looking Asra dead in the eye.

“Teach me healing magic.”


	3. Chapter 3

Julian had given Asra the next two days off to recuperate from the trauma of losing the little boy, but it wasn't enough. Regardless, on the third day, Asra rose and prepared for his day. He was seriously starting to reconsider this course of action. If it was going to be this kind of hell every time he lost a patient, he wasn't sure he wanted it.

He splashed water on his face and cleaned his mouth, ruminating. Thomas had been supportive, letting him cry on his shoulder that first night, not even asking what was wrong until after Asra had calmed down, just holding him and telling him how much he loved him. Thomas had said much the same thing that Julian had- it was sad- Thomas couldn't imagine how Asra felt right now- but he wasn't going to be able to help everyone. 

He had smiled when Asra told him of Julian’s request. “Well, if anyone can teach magic to someone with no talent for it, it’s you. You’re a wonderful teacher.”

Thomas’s confidence had bolstered his. He was absolutely certain he was a good teacher- Thomas had more natural talent for magic than Asra did, but after the resurrection, he had to be taught everything again from the ground up. That was no small task. He didn't know if Julian would be a good student, or if his negative attitude towards anything magical would get in the way of learning. Well... he was certain of that much. Julian had to change his attitude, or he wouldn't be able to learn anything at all. 

Asra considered that dilemma the entire time he was walking to the palace clinic. He had the entire day to ruminate on it; Asra wouldn't begin his lessons until after the clinic closed, lest a patient interrupt them at an inopportune time. What was something simple that he could show Julian to get his interest piqued, cut through the fear and doubt? 

By the time he got there, he had a plan in mind. The first lesson would be something simple and useful. He would teach Julian how to light candles and lanterns with magic. He wasn't _entirely_ sure that was a good idea; fire magic was a weakness for him. But even he could manage a candle flame without a problem. It would do.

Julian looked up from his desk in the clinic as Asra came in. "Good morning," he greeted. "How're you feeling?"

"Ready to get my mind off it," Asra replied flatly. "I'm not sure giving me a few days off was a good idea. I thought about almost nothing but that child the whole time."

Julian winced. "This is going to sound callous, but you need to move on. It happened. There's nothing we can do for him now."

"I know. That's why I'm here today instead of giving up."

"You thought about giving up?"

Asra shook his head. "Not too seriously, but the thought was there."

"It gets easier with experience. I guess since you're ready to get your mind off it, you're ready for today's lesson. Pull up a chair, we're going to talk about leeches some more."

Asra groaned, but obeyed him. "Why are we talking about leeches at all? You've said yourself that they are practically useless."

"I've said that they often don't work. That doesn't make them practically useless. In the right circumstances-"

Crossing his arms over his chest, Asra dug in his heels. "In _what_ circumstances are they any use at all?"

* * *

Asra was sorry he asked by the end of the day. First he'd gotten a rather stern scolding for not listening the first time Julian went over the uses of leeches, an overview Julian said was critical to understanding how leeches were used in medicine. For every use, Asra could think of a better way to do it magically, but he kept his mouth shut. The last thing he wanted was to get into an argument with Julian over whether leeches or magic was superior medicine. There was something silly in the fact that he was even having this debate in his head.

Although he couldn't think of a good reason for blood-letting, even though Julian swore it had it's uses, he supposed that if he ever found himself in a situation where he wanted to do that, he'd rather use leeches than blades. It would certainly hurt less, and there was less chance of it leaving a scar.

When Asra admitted this out loud, Julian gave him a devilish smile. "Wait until we get into surgery."

"S-surgery? You do surgery?"

"It was a skill I picked up early and out of necessity. I'm the one who saved Lucio's life by amputating his arm after it was mangled in battle."

Asra couldn't help the little smirk he gave him. "Oh, so everything that happened last year was _your_ fault, huh? If you'd just let him die-"

Julian _tsk_ 'ed, although he was grinning. "Yes, well, I was young, naive, and believed every life worth saving. Lucio's case is... complicated. And I admit readily, an exception to what I'm about to say. But we're not judges, Asra. We're healers. Whatever a person has done, however an evil life they lived, that's not ours to punish. Remember that."

Asra leaned forward. "So would you save Lucio's life again?"

"No. I told you, his was an exceptional case. His very life caused the deaths of thousands and if it continued, would cause the deaths of thousands more. He needed to die to save other lives. I wasn't _judging_ him, although I did that in abundance as well. I was putting a stop to a deadly plague that had already claimed the lives of countless people."

At that, Asra leaned back again, considering Julian's words. He didn't think he had it in him to heal someone he knew to be evil, yet that's what it sounded like Julian was saying. "Well, we can philosophize all day about this," Asra said finally, "and it certainly is something for me to think about, but I think our day is just about over, wouldn't you agree?"

Julian looked up at the clock, something like dread written across his face. "It is," he said finally. "Anyone who needs assistance now would go to one of the night clinics instead of making the journey here. I guess it's time for our role reversal, huh?"

Asra gazed at him, searching. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"No, I- I do. You- if I had been able to- I-" Julian sighed. "I'm frightened," he admitted. "I've never even thought about learning magic until now. I don't understand it. But if I could help people better if I had it at my disposal..."

"Are you sure?"

He hesitated only a few seconds. "Yes, I'm sure," he said finally.

Asra smiled. "Good. We'll start with something small and simple. Do you have any spare candles?"

Julian got up from his desk and went to a supply cabinet, and Asra followed. Julian produced the requested candle and carried it back to his desk. "Clear it," Asra ordered. "We're going to be playing with fire. We don't want anything on the desk that could ignite if things go wrong." At that, Julian blanched, but obeyed him readily, and they sat together at the desk again. 

Julian set up the candle in its holder in the middle of the desk as Asra considered what he was doing. Julian and Thomas were very different people; he wasn't sure the same teaching techniques would work for Julian as had Thomas. Still, it was the only way he knew how to teach. “First, we need to establish what magic feels like,” he said, offering Julian his hands. “Take my hands.”

Hesitantly, as if Julian didn’t want to touch him, he obeyed. Asra’s fingers closed around his firmly as he closed his eyes. “Has anyone ever used magic on you before?” Asra asked.

“Not that I’m aware of. I don’t think that necessarily means it’s never happened.”

“You’re right. Magic can be very, very subtle, like this.” Gently, Asra swept his magic over Julian, with no purpose but to let Julian feel the sensation. Julian’s fingers tightened; his hands trembled. “Easy,” Asra murmured. “I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe.”

Julian inhaled deeply and then let the breath out, and his hands stilled. “I’ve felt something like that before,” he muttered.

“Oh?”

“Mazelinka. One of the women who raised me and Pasha- Portia. I feel something like that when she makes special soup- soup that helps me sleep or makes me feel better when I’m not well.”

Asra smiled. “Maybe she’s a magician, too.”

“I mean- _soup?_ ”

“Anything can be turned into a potion with the right ingredients.” Asra paused. “Although with her doing it with food, she probably uses culinary components- when not used in conjunction with magic, they’re ordinary herbs and spices. Which would probably make her a green magician.” His gaze focused on Julian again. “It might be worth it to get her recipes and determine the magical parts of them. We can’t exactly serve soup to our patients, but being able to put an injured patient to sleep or soothe illness symptoms would be handy.”

“I’ll take you to meet her,” Julian said. “If she’s a magician, and she’s, uh- she’s already making medicine as you’re implying... It _would_ be useful to have a medication to put patients to sleep. Better than the ones I have, anyway.”

“We’ve never used the ones you have. Just out of curiosity, what are they?”

Julian sighed. “Opium. Give someone it too often and they’ll come to need it to function. Give too much, and it will kill them.”

Asra had heard stories of opium-addicted people, and he shook his head. “It doesn’t always put the patient to sleep, either, right? Sometimes they just stop caring what’s happening.”

“Yes, which is useful when treating injuries and illnesses bad enough to need to knock someone out, but sometimes they _need_ to sleep. And- well- no matter how bad the insomnia, if Mazelinka gives me this soup, I’m out like a light.” Julian smiled slightly. “I’m already glad we’re doing this. Getting that formula solves a problem that’s been on my mind since I first became a doctor. Lucio... Lucio was conscious when I took his arm. It was... traumatic, for both of us.”

“I can imagine.” Asra turned his attention back to the lesson. “Now that you know what that sensation is- magic- perhaps you can try to replicate it in yourself. Focus on me, on my voice. Center yourself, and try to return the feeling.”

Julian frowned, closing his eye again. Asra spread his magic out over them, careful not to touch Julian with it. He just wanted to be able to sense what Julian was doing. A second later, a small shock shimmered through Asra’s hands and dissipated. Julian’s eye flew open. “Was that it? Did I- did I do it?”

“Yes,” Asra replied with a grin. “That was it. Congratulations, Ilya. You’re a magician.”

“Is that really all it takes?” Julian demanded suspiciously.

Asra suppressed a laugh. “No, but it’s a start. It’s enough to do what I have planned next- lighting that candle.”

* * *

Julian didn’t manage to light the candle, but he came close- close enough that Asra was now positive that Julian would be able to do what he wanted: use magic to help people heal. He didn’t need to be the most powerful magician in Vesuvia, just competent.

That was where Asra had his doubts about Julian. Part of the reason Julian hadn’t been able to light the candle was that he was holding back, and holding back hard. “What if I lose control of it?”

“I can handle anything you might do, Ilya.”

“But what if- what if you get hurt, and you CAN’T handle it?”

The moment those words were out of Julian’s mouth, Asra knew he was done for the night. It was a skill that Julian needed to learn- even Asra, with his affinity for water and cold, could light candles. It required basic control, and if Julian didn’t have that, then Asra wanted his magic nowhere near a sick or injured person.

Which meant that, for now, Asra wasn’t the right teacher for him.

The two of them made plans to visit Mazelinka the next day. Asra walked home now, considering inviting Thomas. Asra knew a little green magic, but he mostly used it on plants that he kept for the pleasure of keeping plants and no other reason. Although he guessed that with medical training, he’d want to actually grow medicinal plants. That was a subject he hadn’t brought up to Thomas yet, and although he knew Thomas wouldn’t object, they didn’t have much space at the shop. 

Maybe he and Julian could talk Portia into letting them have part of her garden. It was worth asking, anyway. 

Thomas greeted him with a smile as he swept the shop. “Good evening,” he said, setting the broom aside and going to lock the door. “I missed you. How was your day? How did the good doctor do in his lesson?”

Asra put his arms around him and buried his face in his shoulder. As Thomas returned the embrace, Asra said, “I got another lecture about leeches.” Thomas laughed softly as Asra continued, “And he didn’t do as well as I hoped. We established that he _can_ use magic. He just _won’t._ ” He sighed. “As it turns out, one of the women who raised him and his sister is probably a green magician. We’re going to meet with her tomorrow. Interested in coming with?”

Thomas shook his head. “No, I have three appointments for readings tomorrow. But you’ll teach me what you learn, right?”

He looked at Asra with big puppy eyes, and Asra laughed. “You don’t have to look at me like that. Of course I’ll teach you.”

“Good.” A flicker of mischief appeared in Thomas’s eyes. “I _really_ missed you today, Asra. Let me show you how much.”

“Oh? Lucky me,” Asra murmured, letting Thomas pull him towards the stairs.


	4. Chapter 4

Daylight came too soon for Asra’s tastes, pulling his lover from his arms early in the morning. Julian would come for him when it was time to meet Mazelinka; surely Thomas didn’t have to get up right at the crack of dawn. “Stay with me,” Asra had pleaded sleepily. 

It worked for about an hour before Thomas squirmed free of Asra’s embrace. “I really have to get ready to open the shop,” he said, and dropped a kiss on Asra’s forehead. “Go back to sleep. I’ll call for you when Julian gets here.”

Asra had given a sleepy protest and promptly obeyed him, falling back into a light slumber. An hour after that, Asra roused himself and prepared for the day. He washed up and dressed, and made breakfast for the two of them. Thomas wouldn’t come back to their apartment until he closed the shop for the night, so Asra brought the food downstairs and the pair ate together, a bit rushed; the shop was scheduled to open in only fifteen minutes by then.

Then Asra took their plates back upstairs and left them in the sink; he cooked, so Thomas would get the dishes, and that was exactly as Asra preferred it. He did his best not to take advantage of Thomas’s good humor about Asra’s aversion to doing the dishes; besides, if Asra was back before the shop closed, he’d do them then. He wasn’t planning on being at Mazelinka’s for the entire day. 

That done, Asra settled down with a cup of tea to wait, ruminating. He was so used to being the teacher of magic that he wasn’t sure he’d make a good student anymore, but he was going to give it his best shot. He liked learning new things, after all. And maybe he’d be able to offer something to her in exchange. He knew sigils to help plants grow and stave off illness; he used them copiously on the plants and succulents he kept at his sanctuary in Nopal. They were pretty common knowledge, though. He’d be surprised if she didn’t know them all already.

As he was about to brainstorm any magic that would be helpful to a green magician that she wouldn’t already know, Asra heard voices down in the shop and stood, seconds before Thomas yelled, “Asra! Julian’s here!”

“Coming!” Asra rinsed our his teacup, grabbed his bag, and made his way down the stairs. “Good morning, Ilya,” he greeted, stepping behind the counter and sweeping Thomas into his arms. He kissed him lightly, and said, “Stay out of trouble, Thomas.”

Almost indignantly, Thomas replied, “I’m not the troublemaker in this relationship. You are. Especially with Julian.”

“Hey!” Julian laughed. “I resemble that remark!”

“You certainly do,” Thomas replied dryly. “Have fun, guys. See you tonight, Asra. I love you.”

“Love you too.” Asra bent for one last kiss, and disengaged. “Shall we?”

Julian nodded, and the two of them left the shop, heading for the south end of Vesuvia. After a few minutes of walking in silence, Julian said, “There’s something you ought to know about Mazelinka. She likes to tease people. She usually won’t go after people she doesn’t know, but at the same time, she doesn’t mind if there’s... collateral damage, so to speak. Be prepared to be flustered.”

“I doubt she’ll be able to fluster me,” Asra replied, grinning a bit.

Julian simply shook his head, and kept walking.

He led them to a small house in the community Julian used to live in. Asra recognized the street, but not the house, as Julian stepped up to the door and knocked firmly. The door opened, and a small woman with a commanding aura answered. “Ilya! This is a surprise! What can I do for you?” A thought occurred to her. “You’re not in trouble again, are you?”

“Not the kind of trouble you’re thinking.” Julian gave her a charming grin. 

“Good. Well, don’t just stand there all day, come in, come in, both of you.” She moved aside, and Asra almost snickered as Julian came centimeters from bumping his head on the doorframe. “You’d think he’d have learned to duck by now,” Mazelinka said in a stage whisper to Asra. Asra gave her a charming smile, and as she closed the door, she said, louder now, “Well? Are you going to introduce me to your handsome friend?”

Julian was already blushing a bit from his near miss with the door. “Right, of course. Mazelinka, this is Asra Alnazar. Asra, Mazelinka.”

“Oh, so _you’re_ the one who broke Ilya’s heart!”

“ _Mazelinka!_ ” Julian gasped, scandalized, as Asra drew back in confusion and surprise. “I- he- it wasn’t like that!”

“Oh, relax, Ilya, I’m just poking a bit of fun. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Asra. Ilya’s told me a lot about you.”

“I- the pleasure is mine,” Asra replied, feeling his face flush, hoping that Julian was too flustered himself to notice that she had flustered him, and badly. 

Mazelinka gave him a wink before turning her attention to them both. “I assume this isn’t a social call.”

Julian tried to speak. His voice cracked, and he tried again. “I, uh, that is, we- he’s a colleague,” he managed. Asra looked at him in surprise; since when was Asra skilled enough in medicine to be considered his colleague and not his apprentice? “I’m teaching him medicine, and he’s, uh, he’s teaching me magic.”

Surprise flitted across Mazelinka’s face. “Oh? He’s a miracle worker, then.” She turned to face Asra. “He's always poo-pooed everything involving magic. Boy's scared stiff of it. What brought about this change of heart?"

Together, they told her about Asra's habit of using magic to heal instead of medicine, even when instructed not to, and then about the little boy who had died in their arms. Mazelinka's expression was somber by the time they finished. "That's rough. I'm sorry you went through that. If you're looking for magic that could've saved him, you're looking in the wrong place. That sounded far beyond any capabilities of mine."

Asra shook his head. "I'm aware that's probably beyond your capabilities, but I don't think it's beyond Ilya's. But when I tried to teach him something simple, lighting a candle, he held back enough that he couldn't do it, and I couldn't get him to stop. We were hoping for two things here: one, Ilya's told me about your soups and while we can't serve soup to our patients, we _can_ use potions; and two, I was hoping you'd be able to bolster his confidence to get him to stop holding back so hard."

Mazelinka nodded, her gaze fixing on Julian. "Well, Ilya? Why were you holding back?"

Julian shifted uncomfortably. "I was worried the magic would spiral out of my control, and we'd had a problem on our hands. Fire is dangerous, and- he said he could handle anything that went wrong, but what if I hurt him and he _couldn't?_ "

Looking back to Asra, Mazelinka smiled slightly. "Well? What if, magician?"

"That wouldn't have happened," Asra replied evenly. "I know what I'm doing, even if Ilya doesn't. I had complete control over the situation the whole time. I just couldn't convince Ilya that I did."

"Magic is unpredictable," Julian retorted. 

"Only when you don't know what you're doing."

"And I didn't know what I was doing!"

"But I did," Asra insisted. 

Mazelinka had heard enough of the conversation, and held up a hand to silence them. "I get the picture. I can help with this, I'm sure. He needs to start with something calmer. Don't you, Ilya?" Without giving him time to answer, Mazelinka gestured at a stool. "Asra, feel free to sit. We'll be back. I have just the thing in mind to teach him. I'll need your help, though, Ilya. We'll be right back."

She gestured for Julian to follow her out of the house, and Asra sat down on the stool, thinking, more bothered by Mazelinka's commentary than he wanted to admit. He broke Julian's heart? What exactly had Julian told her about him? She seemed friendly enough, but... Asra closed his eyes and extended his magic gently through the house and then around it, listening intently.

"-linka, please."

"I'm just saying, Ilya. You need to remember that he's your ex for a reason- and a damned good one, if I recall what you told me about him correctly."

"I was hurt when I said those things. I don't even remember what exactly I said! And even if I still had feelings for him- and I _don't-_ " Here there was a hitch in Julian's voice that bothered him even more- "-it doesn't matter. His lover is going to propose to him at the Masquerade. Even with Asra’s commitment issues- he’ll accept. He’s _happy._ I’m not going to do anything to risk disrupting that, and I certainly wouldn’t do that if I still had feelings for him.”

“You’ve grown up a lot, haven’t you?” Mazelinka sounded proud. “Still, there’s no harm in being careful. I know you. You think with your heart too often. All I’m asking is that you keep your brain engaged for once.”

“Alright already. I promise I’m not going to go falling in love with him again. Sheesh.”

Asra hastily withdrew his magic, his mind in turmoil. On the one hand, he was about as convinced as Mazelinka seemed to be that Julian was truly over him, and it scared him. He had been selfishly alright with hurting Julian when that mess happened. He wasn’t alright with it now. He’d grown as a person too much to be alright with hurting anyone.

And then there was- was Thomas really going to-?

He forced himself to be calm, especially about that. Thomas and Julian didn’t talk often at all. When did Thomas have the time to tell Julian that? He doubted Julian was telling the truth about that. But the moment that cynicism set in, it made Asra’s heart ache with surprising intensity. He wanted that to be true. 

Maybe, if he truly believed it was just something Julian made up to get Mazelinka off his case about this issue, he could take matters into his own hands. There was nothing stopping him from taking that step himself.

And then he winced as his mind immediately went to all the reasons getting married would be a bad idea for him. He stifled a self-deprecatory scowl. Commitment issues indeed...

By the time Julian and Mazelinka were back in the house, Asra had smoothed over his turmoil and now waited blankly for Mazelinka and Julian to come back. Julian didn’t seem to notice anything, but Mazelinka regarded him with a shrewd gaze for a touch longer than Asra was comfortable with. 

She made no comment on whatever she saw on his face that was so interesting, though. “I’m perfectly willing to share the magical formulas for my medicine with you both,” she said finally. “It’d be better used in your hands than in mine. Asra, you’re already probably familiar with most of the components I’m going to go into, as well as the charm to amplify its effects, so I’m going to ask you to watch while Ilya does the work.”

Asra seemed unperturbed by this, simply standing to move closer to the pot that Mazelinka was moving into the hearth. Julian, however, was less enthusiastic, his eye widening in surprise. “Are you sure about this? I’m a raw beginner.”

Calmly, without looking up from her preparations, Mazelinka asked, “What do you think will happen if you mess up?”

“Uh? I- I don’t know. It could explode, or-“

Mazelinka laughed. “It’s not going to explode, you silly boy. The worst that will happen is that we’ll have a batch of worthless medicine. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make this process dangerous.”

That wasn't true at all, but Asra kept his mouth shut. Any magic was dangerous if it went wrong enough, but if Asra contradicted her now, Julian would shut down and refuse to do any of this. And Mazelinka was experienced in this magic- and Asra was more than capable of bringing any errant magic under control, as well. Julian was safe. That was the point of what Mazelinka said, and Asra wouldn't say otherwise. Mazelinka gestured for Asra to join them at the hearth, and Asra went to them.

The recipe Mazelinka showed them was a simple cold medicine. Asra was embarassed to admit that the only component he predicted would be in it was willow bark. The rest of them, he hadn't even known that they could be used for medicinal purposes, and he hadn't known the magical process Mazelinka used to charm the medicine to make it more potent. But when Mazelinka invited Julian to make a batch himself, Asra didn't object, instead taking a supervisory role along with her. "What about Asra?" Julian had asked nervously.

Mazelinka looked at Asra. "Well? What about you?"

Asra had shaken his head. "I'm fine. I'll practice this on my own. You have to do this, though, Ilya. Just remember, Mazelinka knows what she's doing. Between the two of us, we can keep everything under control. You're safe, Ilya. It's safe to do this."

Julian took a deep breath, then squared his shoulders and got to work. Asra and Mazelinka watched as he concocted the potion, and then set about charming it. He stretched his hands over the pot as Asra carefully stretched his own magic over Julian, watching his aura and magic as Julian went through the steps. When Julian was done, Mazelinka examined his handiwork, and nodded. "It's good," she said encouragingly. "You did well, Ilya."

Julian blushed, but instead of stammering out a denial, he said quietly, "Mazelinka? Do you have any spare candles? I... I want to try again. I want to try to light one."

Without another word, Mazelinka went to a shelf and rummaged around on it, finding a half-burned candle in its holder, and brought it over to Julian. She set it on the stool Asra had been using, and Asra said softly, "Remember what we went over? Imagine the heat of the flame, and direct that heat towards the wick of the candle. You've got this, Ilya. You can do this."

Asra held his breath as Julian focused on the candle. A thin whisp of smoke trailed up from the wick, but it didn't catch. Julian made a frustrated noise. "That's okay," Asra said soothingly. "Try again."

Julian's eyes narrowed at the candle, and Asra felt Julian's magic this time, persistent, the heat from his magic wavering over the candle. Just as Asra was about to tell Julian to take a deep breath and step back for a moment, the wick burst into a tiny flame, and then began to steadily burn. Julian's eye widened, and an enchanted smile spread over his face. "I did it!" he gasped, turning to Asra. "I lit the candle!"

Asra smiled back at him. "I knew you could. I want you to light every candle and lantern you need with magic for the next two weeks. Get used to it. You should be able to do it with a thought after long enough."

Mazelinka smiled and patted Julian on the back. "I'm sure you've worked up an appetite. Let me make you two lunch, and we can practice some more afterwards. Deal?"

"Deal," Julian said, beaming from ear to ear. 

"While we're waiting for lunch," Asra suggested, "how about we have a lesson? We won't be able to practice- not until we have someone who's injured- but we can go over the basic theory and whatnot."

"Sounds good," Julian said, and the two of them sat together.


	5. Chapter 5

As Asra had requested, Julian started lighting every candle and lantern in his path with magic, even ones that he didn't need. He saw them and set them alight, delighted in his new abilities.

For Asra's part, he made a conscious effort to back away from his magic. It was hard some days. He knew he could heal some of the injuries that came through their door in seconds, but if he wanted Julian to make the effort to learn magic, he had to trust that Julian knew what he was doing as well, and make the effort to practice medicine. It was what Asra had asked Julian to teach him, after all.

At one point, the palace clinic became almost unbearably busy, busier than Asra had ever experienced before. Julian kept his cool, working through the patients as they came, while Asra triaged them, healing superficial and simple problems as he went. He defaulted to magic; it was too busy for him not to, and although he knew Julian noticed, the doctor said nothing about it.

They had just finished a wave of sick and injured people, and Asra leaned back against the exam table he'd just helped a woman off of, exhaling deeply. "How often does all of Vesuvia decide that they need medical attention at once?" Asra asked, wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. 

"Oh, that wasn't so bad," Julian said in a teasing voice. "You should've seen how busy we got during the Red Plague."

"That doesn't count."

"No?"

Asra was about to explain why- it was a _plague_ , there were extenuating circumstances- when his attention was jolted to the door by it banging open and closed, and a man yelling, "Help! Help us, please!"

Asra and Julian were by the man's side in an instant; the man transfered a girl from his arms into Asra's, and Asra carried her to his exam table. Deep crimson blossomed over the girl's shirt. She was pale and unconscious. "What happened?" Julian asked, pulling the shirt up, revealing a stab wound.

"She was helping us in the kitchen, and she was carrying a knife- she tripped- help her! Please!"

"We'll do everything we can," Julian replied. "Asra, go get the- Asra? Asra!"

Asra was staring at the wound, pale, eyes wide. Julian reached out and put a hand on Asra's shoulder, startling him. "Ilya- I-"

"Go to the back room and take a breather," Julian said, moving to get what he'd just tried to order Asra to get. 

"But-"

"Go. It's alright. This is nothing I can't handle alone."

"I can-"

"Asra, please, now isn't the time! Just go!"

Asra's face flushed, but he obeyed, heading to the supply room and closing the door behind him. He leaned back against it, hands covering his face. He froze up. He saw the little boy they'd lost and he froze up. He was furious with himself. Julian didn't sound angry or judgmental, but he needed help, and Asra had dropped the ball.

There was a chair in the room for times when they took inventory, but Asra didn't sit. He started pacing restlessly, considering going back out there to help, telling Julian he'd calmed down and he was able to help.

He hesitated, though. That wound looked severe; he didn’t want to distract Julian at a critical moment, and so he stayed put.

Finally, after what felt like hours, the door opened and Julian popped his head into the room. “You okay?” he asked, concern thick in his voice.

Asra nodded. “I am now. I would’ve gone back out but I didn’t want to distract you.”

Julian came into the room fully, waving a hand dismissively. “The wound was very shallow. It looked worse than it was. She’s going to have a nasty scar, but she’ll be fine.”

Asra winced. “I might’ve been able to lessen the scar if I’d been able to keep my head.”

Curiosity flickered on Julian’s face. “What happened? It’s not like you to freeze up like that.”

Asra looked away. “I could only think, what if we lost her, too?”

“What _if_ we lost her?” It was a genuine question. “What do you think would’ve happened?”

The question took him by surprise. “I- well-“ He sighed. “Maybe I’m not cut out for-“

“Stop right there. Remember how you were telling me the whole time you were trying to teach me how to light candles, to stop holding back? I’m saying the same thing to you now. You’re more competent than you’re letting yourself admit.”

“This is a bit different than lighting a candle,” Asra protested. “This is people’s lives-“

“And you’re not going to be able to help anyone if you’re so afraid of losing someone that you seize up like you did today. _That_ is a good way to get people killed.”

Asra exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he said finally. “I’ll do better.”

Julian looked extremely concerned. “You’re not thinking of giving up again, are you?”

“No. I can control the fear. I know I can. I just need to...” His voice trailed off, and he frowned. He wasn’t quite sure how to handle this. “How do you deal with the fear?”

Julian shrugged. “I just kind of shove it aside until the danger’s passed. I still panic, I just wait until it's safe to do so."

"You seem awfully calm for someone who panics after the fact."

Julian shrugged. "Like I said, it looked worse than it was, and I could see that as soon as I looked at her. That's why I sent you away instead of trying to snap you out of it." He grinned wryly. "Believe me, Asra, if I needed you, you'd have stayed out there."

Asra regarded him thoughtfully before saying with a sigh, "Well, it's something to work on, anyway. Sorry about that."

"No harm came of it." Julian smiled. "Care to join me for a drink? You still seem frazzled. Don't want to give you back to Thomas stressed out."

Asra managed a tired smile, thinking. He hadn't had a chance to talk to Julian as friends since seeing Mazelinka. He wanted more information about Thomas's plans for the Masquerade. "Sure," he said after a moment's thought.

The two of them locked up the clinic and started walking, chatting. Asra enjoyed Julian's comany immensely. They still had unfinished business, and that had to be addressed sooner or later, but before they had been lovers, they had been friends. Asra was happy that he seemed to be getting that back. Things would never be the same between them- Asra had changed too much, he had such a hard time really connecting with anyone who wasn't Thomas anymore- but it was a welcome change in dynamic for them.

They arrived at the Rowdy Raven and Asra went to their booth while Julian got their usual drinks from the bar. They drank in silence for a handful of moments; Julian's silence was contented, Asra's thoughtful. Finally, he decided on the best way to fish for information without giving away that he'd eavesdropped on that conversation. "I want your opinion on something, Ilya."

Julian's eye widened in surprise. "Oh? Since when do my opinions matter to you?"

"We're friends, aren't we?"

Asra didn't like Julian's hesitancy when he answered. He hadn't expected that. "Yes, we are indeed," Julian replied.

"So your opinions matter to me." Asra took a sip of his drink, trying to put Julian's discomfort with that question out of his mind. "I'm... thinking of asking Thomas to marry me." Julian choked on his drink, his eye going wide again. Asra watched in concern as Julian coughed and cleared his throat. "It's not _that_ surprising, is it?" Asra asked, bemused.

Once Julian stopped coughing, he looked like he'd just won the gossip jackpot. He grinned widely at Asra. "Are you kidding? That's _huge_ for you. But- ah- I wouldn't surprise him with that if I were you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Talk to him about it. You don't want to just, uh, drop something like that one someone's lap." Julian looked so thrilled that Asra almost laughed. 

As Julian took another drink, Asra said, "You produced that advice awfully fast. Usually it takes you a few seconds to process things."

"Well, ah- you see- that is-" Julian looked down into his mug, blushing furiously. Then he looked up again, the esctatic grin back. "I just have a feeling you need to talk to him about it first, that's all. Find out where he stands on the subject. I mean- it's going to be surprising that you're bringing it up at all- but you might avoid some unnecessary awkwardness if you do."

Asra gave him a half-lidded smile. "You sound like you know something."

"Me? Noooo... no, it's just, I do talk to him on occassion."

"About me?"

"About whatever's going on when our paths cross. You've come up, yes."

Curiosity burned in him. "What does he say about me?"

Julian picked up his drink and downed it with a flourish. "Oh, nothing much. Just that you're the most wonderful thing that could've happened to him and how much he loves you."

Asra blushed despite himself, his smile growing. "I'm not that special."

"You are." Julian's sudden seriousness threw Asra for a loop. What the-? "You never believed me when I told you, so maybe you'll believe it when Thomas says it about you. You _are_ special, Asra. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their lives, let alone be with you. I'm just glad he makes you so happy."

"Ilya?" A sinking feeling settled in Asra's chest.

"Yes?" 

Julian didn't seem to notice Asra's discomfort, or if he did, he was ignoring it. "It's nothing," Asra replied, and took a long drag off his drink to hide his foundering around for a subject change. By the time he was finished drinking, something had come to him. "You know, I've been thinking about your hesitance to use magic for fear of losing control of it," he said finally. 

With a frown, Julian said, "I've been lighting everything with a wick with magic since I did it at Mazelinka's. What more do you want from me?"

"Not going to heal anyone by lighting candles, Ilya. I've noticed that you haven't even suggested learning anything else." He paused. "What if I told you that we can go somewhere you can practice magic without any fear of doing damage at all?"

Julian regarded him in a mix of thoughtfulness and dread. "I'm not sure I like where this is going."

"If you'd used magic on that girl today, you could've minimized the scarring. If I'd been out there, I'd have done it, but I wasn't out there. I can teach you how to do things like that, but you need to be able to handle it, and I think you're still afraid of losing control."

"Kind of like how you were today?" Julian challenged.

Asra sighed and sipped his drink. "I'm not judging you. We're both out of our comfort zones with these things. But that doesn't mean we should give up our goals. It just means we should work harder at them."

Julian stared down into his glass. "You're right, of course," he sighed. "I _am_ still afraid of it. I'm getting more comfortable, but..." He turned his eye on Asra. "What's this place we can go to practice magic?"

"It's something called a gateway," Asra explained. "Do you remember me being, well- asleep, by the fountain in the palace garden?" Julian nodded, and Asra continued, "I was in my gateway at those times- a gateway into the magical realms. All magicians can access their own personal gates, and use them for a variety of things. There's no chance of doing bodily damage to anyone because we don't bring our physical bodies there; we simply project our spirits into the gateway. I can show you how to access yours, and you can use it as a sandbox to test the limits of your magic."

Julian had gone pale as Asra spoke. "That... that sounds dangerous."

"I just told you that you don't take your physical body there."

"Yes, but what happens if something happens to your _spirit_ , when you're there? Do you just sleep forever?"

Asra suppressed a wince. He was hoping Julian wouldn't figure that out for a while, at least. "That is _very_ hard to do," Asra told him. "While you're there, you do feel pain- but you're closest to your magic there. You can heal most hurts with a thought, and if that doesn't work, you can will the threat away."

It wasn't entirely truthful. There were some threats that a person couldn't simply vanish, no matter how powerful they were. Lucio had been a real threat when he intruded in Asra's gate; he hadn't known how he was going to take care of him, before he met his untimely demise in the black pool. He'd gotten lucky that happened. 

But Lucio wasn't there anymore, and Asra couldn't think of a single instance otherwise that a person with their physical body safe in the "real" world had endured lasting damage from an excursion into their own personal gateways. And since Asra and Thomas shared one, and they'd traversed his parents' gate, he knew other people could access personal gateways. He'd be there to help Julian if anything happened.

Julian stared hard at Asra for several moments, and then nodded firmly. "What the hell," he said, sitting back. "If I'm going to do this, I might as well go all in. We'll do this gateway thing."

Asra smiled. "You won't be disappointed. We'll start tomorrow after the clinic closes."


	6. Chapter 6

Asra and Julian headed for the garden fountain in companionable silence. They had a slow day- they saw just one person, and them with a cold that they could do little for but administer Mazelinka's cold medicine and tell them to get some rest. Asra could feel that Julian was wound up tight, nervous about what they were about to do.

They came to the fountain and Asra sat on the edge, trailing his fingers in the water. Julian sat down next to him, hands clasped tightly in his lap. “So, uh, what- What now?”

“Take my hands.” Asra held them out to him. Julian did so hesitantly, although Asra wasn’t sure if his reluctance to touch him came from fear of what they were about to do, or because he didn’t want to touch Asra. Regardless, Julian placed his hands in Asra’s, and Asra’s fingers closed over Julian’s, giving them a reassuring squeeze. Julian relaxed ever so slightly.

“I considered not telling you this, but you should know,” Asra said. “This is pretty advanced magic. If you can do this, then you’re capable of all the healing magic I know. We’ll have to get my parents involved, because you’ll probably surpass my knowledge of healing magic.”

Asra expected Julian to pull away at that. Instead, though he tensed, and badly, a nervous grin cracked his features. “I trust you. I trust you won’t let me do anything dangerous.”

“Oh, this can be plenty dangerous. What I need you to trust me about is that I can protect you. Do you trust that?”

“I- I do.”

Asra smiled. “Good. Close your eyes and follow my voice.” Asra thought about how to best describe the process, and then started speaking, closing his eyes as well. He felt Julian's magic wash over him with every step he described, and soon he felt the world fall away from them. When he opened his eyes again, they were elsewhere; a lagoon, comforting darkness all around them. The smell of night-blooming flowers drifted in the salty air; Asra could hear waves lapping on a shore in the distance. The pool of water in front of them was deep and clear, with tiny fish darting this way and that in it.

"This is beautiful," Julian murmured, looking around. "Did I do this?" Asra nodded, and a slow smile spread on Julian's face. "I had no idea I could do something like this with magic. I- how do things work here?"

"Well, for starters, you're closest to your magic here," Asra said. "It's much more powerful here than it is in the physical realm. It _can_ be dangerous- but it shouldn't be, as long as you're careful."

"You said we could practice healing magic here." The smile faded from his face. "How am I supposed to do that when I don't have anyone who's injured or sick here?"

"I- hm. I didn't think that far ahead." Julian set him with an incredulous look, and Asra laughed. "We can still do this. I just need to think for a second." Then it came to him. "We could create facimilies of people to practice on. They wouldn't be alive, but we can make them as realistic as we need to in order to practice easily."

"You can do that?"

"Not here. But _you_ can."

"I don't know how!"

"I think you do." Asra looked at him with a blank, half-lidded smile. "Remember what I said about this kind of magic? If you can do this-" he gestured around him- "you're powerful enough to do a _lot_. You just need to think it through a little."

Julian stared at him in trepidation. Asra didn't look away, and didn't speak again. He wasn't going to do the work for him. The only way he'd learn was by doing it, and Asra couldn't be there to hold his hand all the time. Julian could figure this out himself, Asra knew he could.

Once Julian realized that Asra wasn't going to give him so much as a hint, he took a deep breath and muttered, "Alright. Alright, I can do this. I just have to..." His voice trailed off as he closed his eyes. Asra felt Julian's magic stretch out, and he quietly responded, watching with his own magic, lest Julian need help.

The water in the pond rose to answer Julian's magic, and coalesced into a human shape. It floated out of the water and came to rest on the ground; Asra watched as the watery body slowly solidified and took on blank, generic features. When it appeared mostly solid, Julian opened his eyes and looked down at his handiwork. "I- I did that?"

"You did that." Asra nodded, kneeling beside the body. "Except it looks perfectly healthy. I don't think you'll be able to practice healing on this."

Julian blushed. "I- well- I just wanted to see if I could do it. I can make another one. How do I- er- make it go away?" 

"Focus on the magic holding it together, and unravel it."

"Like this?" Julian concentrated for a moment, and the body gave a quiver, and then melted back into water, splashing Asra. Asra chuckled and stood, flicking his fingers to summon a warm breeze to dry himself. 

Julian looked positively entranced. "I can't believe I can do all of this. I had no idea I could. All this time, magic seemed so foreign, illogical... but there's a certain logic to it, isn't there? I just need to figure out what that logic is, and then I can use it."

Asra's expression brightened. "That's exactly it," he said in relief. "I thought you were never going to get there. Hopefully you're a bit more confident now?"

"I don't know about _that_. It's still frightening." Julian gave a little sigh, then smiled. "But I really think I can do this now. Thank you."

Asra smiled back, and then said, "Are you up for practicing healing magic, or are you done for the night? Magic isn't infinite; you can overuse it and exhaust yourself. It's rather unpleasant when that happens, and you're just a beginner."

"I think I'm done for the night," Julian answered. "I'd rather not risk that."

"Alright. We can go back to our bodies now. I-"

"Wait. Before we go back, there's- there's something I need to say. I've put it off for too long." Asra quieted in trepidation, not wanting to have a confrontation with Julian about his lingering feelings for him. He didn't discourage him, though, waiting patiently for Julian to find the words he was looking for. "Asra, I- I'm sorry." Asra's eyes widened slightly. That wasn't what he was expecting. Before Asra could say anything, Julian plowed on, "I made a lot of assumptions about you, and about us, and when it became apparent those assumptions were wrong, I- I took it out on you, when I had no business making those assumptions to begin with."

"Ilya," Asra murmured. Julian met his gaze, eagerly, but with a hint of fear in his eyes. He was completely genuine, and unguarded. "I- I owe you an apology, as well," he said softly. "You weren't the only one who took things out on the other that he shouldn't have. And I used you. No matter how willing you were- I shouldn't have done that. I should've turned you away. I knew it was never going to be what you wanted, and I let it happen anyway."

"Don't get my wrong- I don't regret it," Julian said. "I- well, I can't exactly say it made me happy. I- we were pretty miserable, weren't we? But I don't regret that it happened. I just wish we didn't hurt each other like we had. You said before that we were friends, but I- it felt like that couldn't happen until the air was cleared. I would very much like for us to truly be friends again."

Asra smiled, and extended a hand. "I would like that as well. It's time to leave the past behind."

"Yes," Julian replied, shaking his hand. "I'm glad I spoke up. Nadia- I didn't want to. I was afraid of your reaction. Nadia told me that I needed to, though."

"Oh?" A mischievous look came to Asra's eyes, a knowing smile on his face.

Julian caught his unspoken meaning, and his face flushed. "It's not like- well... I guess it _is_ like that..."

Asra laughed in surprise. "Really? I was just teasing! She really went from wanting you dead to-"

Julian cut him off with a cough. "Yes, well, anyway! Let's get back to our bodies and get some rest. I want to talk to Nadia tomorrow about a project I've been planning. I need her permission to begin it, though. I expect that she'll see the benefit but she'll be less likely to say no if we're both pressing for it."

"I need to know what it is if you expect me to press for it," Asra said pointedly, eyebrows raised. 

"Let's get back to the physical realm first. We can discuss it over drinks."

"Fair enough. Let's go."

* * *

Asra met up with Julian early the next day, earlier than usual. They would meet with Nadia about Julian's project, and Asra was looking forward to it. Julian had barely needed to sell it to Asra to get his enthusiastic agreement. It would meet a need the city desperately needed filled.

They found Nadia on the veranda, sipping tea over her breakfast. She looked up in surprise. "Julian and- Asra. What a pleasure it is to see you. You'd never know that you work at the palace with how little I see you. Join me; have you had breakfast yet? There's more than enough for all three of us."

"Thank you," Asra said, as he took a seat across from her and Julian sat down beside her. He leaned towards her even as he reached for one of the savory pasteries on the table. "We're here on business, I'm afraid," Asra said, pouring himself some tea.

Nadia made a noncomittal noise and shook her head slightly. "What do I have to do to get you and Thomas here on pleasure? No, don't answer that. You _will_ be at the Masquerade at least, won't you?"

"We wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Good." Nadia smiled, and took another sip of her tea. "What's this business that's so urgent that you've come see me at breakfast about?"

Asra looked at Julian. Julian finished his pastry hurriedly and swallowed. "That is- er. Yes. I have a project I want to start, but it requires your permission- and your assistance."

"Oh? You have my attention, doctor." 

There was something teasing in her eyes as she spoke, something that made Julian's face flush. "I want to build a hospital. I think we can do more good with a localized hospital, in the center of the city. We could bring in other doctors and healers, and we'll be able to help people who need more extensive treatments. Right now, those people languish with conditions that we _can_ treat- we just don't have the facilities to do it."

"I'm intrigued," Nadia replied. "That does sound like a very promising project indeed. I think we shall do it, although I'll need to discuss it with Aisha and Salim to determine the cost."

Asra and Julian looked at each other. "Nadia, if the cost is too high-"

"The cost won't be too high," she cut him off. "We had hospitals in Prakra. It's a necessary resource and I'm embarassed that it had to be suggested to me, rather than a project I started myself. Can I ask that you go speak with Aisha and Salim about this for me? I know you have to get back to the clinic- just tell them the basics of what you want, give them something to get started on, and I'll join them later on this morning."

"As you wish," Julian said. 

They stood, and Nadia reached out and took Julian's hand. "A moment, if you please, doctor."

Julian looked a little concerned. "Go on ahead, Asra. I'll catch up to you."

Asra shrugged and took his leave of them. He heard them speaking softly, thought he heard Nadia say his name, and kept going, a small smile on his lips. He swore, if the two of them ended up together, Vesuvia was _doomed_. 

He put thoughts of Julian and Nadia out of his head as he reached his parents' room and knocked. Aisha was the one who answered, and she smiled broadly when she saw him. "Good morning, Asra!" she exclaimed, moving to embrace him. He hugged her back as Salim joined them at the door. "It's been a while since we saw you. The good doctor's keeping you busy?"

"Very," Asra admitted. "He'll be joining us soon. We need to talk to you about- well, a couple of things."

"Come in," Salim said, as Aisha moved aside to let him into the apartment. "First, how are you doing? How's your training coming?"

"Well, Ilya's started calling me his colleague rather than his apprentice," Asra said, as the three of them took seats around the living area. "I'm not sure I share his confidence in my abilities, but the thought is nice. I'm teaching him healing magic, as well- which is one of the things I meant to talk to you about." They returned his gaze, curious and expectant, and he took a deep breath and said, "That is, he was able to build a gateway. We've gone from believing him to be all but bereft of magic to him being able to build a gateway, and I am positive his capabilities surpass my knowledge of healing magic. Can you teach us what you know?"

Aisha and Salim glanced at each other. "We didn't specialize in healing magic, either," Salim replied, "but we can share what knowledge we do have. Hopefully we have something to teach you."

"That's all I'm asking. The other thing... Ilya wants to build a hospital. Nadia asked us to give you the basics of what he wants to get started on planning."

"A hospital is a grand idea," Aisha said with a wide grin. "What's he looking to accomplish?"

"Ah, well, he didn't tell me any specifics," Asra replied. "We'll have to wait for him-"

As Asra spoke, there was a knock on their door, and Salim got up to get it. "Ah, Doctor Devorak. We were just discussing you and your project. Come in, come in. We're eager to start planning."

"Oh, well, that's lovely. I'm eager to start planning, too. We'll have to discuss it in more depth when we have time, but for now..."

Asra listened to them talk, a smile on his lips. He had very little to add to the conversation; he listened with one ear, and daydreamed about being back at the shop with Thomas with the rest of his attention. 


	7. Chapter 7

The day went by almost painfully slowly, at first.

And then sick people started coming in.

Asra recognized those symptoms. They were the same as the patient who had come in the day before, except much worse, and as the day wore on, the people coming in were worse and worse. "I wish I had that hospital _now_ ," Julian muttered to him between patients. "How are we doing with that medicine?"

"We're almost out," Asra replied grimly. "Can you handle the influx of people while I make a new batch?"

"I'm going to have to." Julian looked at the waiting area grimly. People sat with handkerchiefs and red eyes and noses, coughing and sneezing. One child whined plaintively while their mother, equally sick, held them still in her lap. "We can't run out of that stuff."

"Right," Asra murmured, patted Julian's shoulder, and went to the back room to concoct the medicine. He leaned back against the door for a moment, breathing deeply. It would be a small miracle if he and Julian got out of this outbreak without coming down with it as well, but that was a risk they had to take. He was sure the clinics in the city were overwhelmed by now; they didn't get very many patients. When they had an influx like this, it meant that the ones in the city were overflowing. Not for the first time, Asra wished there were more than just him and Julian. There would be nothing for them to do most of the time, but they were absolutely overwhelmed now.

Well, getting upset about it wasn't going to do anyone any good. Asra set about making the potion, hoping that Julian's supply held out until this batch finished up. He added the ingredients, charming each one for an added kick. This illness got worse as time progressed; he doubted that the medicine would do much good for much longer. They needed something stronger, but Asra wasn't sure what else they could do. They hadn't been back to Mazelinka's yet- if she even had anything stronger. Asra would've experimented, but the middle of an outbreak wasn't the time to do that.

About half-way through the process, Julian came into the back room. "Asra," he said softly, "Thomas is here."

Asra looked up from his work, his heart sinking. "Oh no. Don't tell me he's sick, too."

"Very. Probably the worst case we've had so far."

Asra winced. "Tell him I'll be out to see him personally once I'm done with this."

"I will." Julian took his leave of him, and Asra resumed his task.

By the time he had the medicine bottled up in vials, it was close to closing time. Asra gathered the vials up in baskets and carried them out into the clinic. The only person to look up at him was Julian, who met his gaze with a shake of his head. Asra sighed and brought the medicine over to Julian, who called the next person in line.

Asra found Thomas in the waiting room and went over to him, a vial of the medicine in his hand. Thomas didn't look up. Asra knelt before him, looking up into his dull, glassy eyes. He was shivering. Asra reached up and pressed a wrist to Thomas's forehead, then pulled away, shaking his head. "How long have you been sick?" he asked quietly. 

"I was sick when I got up," Thomas replied in a soft, exhausted voice. "You had already left for the day."

"I remember." Asra's tone was grim. Thomas's fever was high. "I had some things to discuss with Nadia and my parents. Here." He pressed the vial of medicine into his hand. "Drink this. It'll ease the symptoms a little bit. Do you want to wait here for me to finish up?" Thomas nodded, and Asra stood and kissed him on the forehead. "Alright. I'll work as quickly as I can. I love you. I hope that helps you feel a bit better."

Without another word, Thomas unstoppered the vial and downed the contents. He made a face and shuddered before handing the vial back to Asra. Asra took it and went to take it to their washing pile. As he did so, he passed Julian, who was giving some of the medicine to another patient. Asra couldn't resist a joke about doing the "dishes", and Julian snorted and told him to behave.

By the time they had worked through the patients they had, it was well past dark. Thomas was the only one who remained, slumped over in his chair and dozing fitfully. "Come on," Asra said, touching his shoulder lightly to wake him up. "Let's get you home." 

"Wait," Julian said, approaching them, carrying a few of the vials of medicine. "Take this with you, in case he needs another dose- and in case you need one. You're probably going to be just as sick as he is tomorrow."

"I hope not," Thomas muttered to himself. He stood with Asra's arm around his shoulders, face buried in his side. 

Asra managed a sad smile. "Thanks. I'll make sure he stays on top of the symptoms. I hate to do this to you, but I'm staying home with him tomorrow."

Julian waved a hand. "If that's what you must do, that's what you must do. I just hope today was the worst of it."

"Indeed. Have a good night, Ilya."

"Good night. Feel better soon, Thomas."

With that, Asra escorted Thomas out of the clinic. He was able to request a carriage for them; he didn't want to make Thomas walk all the way back to the shop, after having walked to the palace. Thomas slept on Asra's shoulder the whole trip back. Asra hesitantly roused him when they arrived at the shop, and all but carried him inside and up to the living area.

Once Thomas was arranged on the bed, Asra went back down the stairs to lock up, and then examined Thomas’s stock of magical herbs. Asra went over what was in that medication in his head, and started pulling bottles from the shelf, anything that would help the symptoms that wouldn’t interact with what Thomas had already taken. 

He took his prizes upstairs and set about making a tea to soothe Thomas’s raw throat and headache. Thomas wasn’t quite awake when he accepted the steaming cup from Asra; he was certainly awake after the first sip. “I get sick and you immediately try to poison me?” he murmured, making a face at the bitter tea.

“I didn’t add enough honey, huh?” Asra brushed his hair from his sweaty brow. “That should take care of the symptoms the medicine misses.”

“There’s no chance it’ll cure me, is there?”

“Unfortunately not. The only thing we can do is ease the symptoms and let it run it’s course. I’m sorry. If I could cure you, I would.”

“I know.” A deep cough ripped out of his throat and chest, and Asra got up to go to the pantry again. “I must have something for that cough...”

There was a loud _crash_ from downstairs, startling Asra. Faust popped up from Asra’s sash and cried, _Wolf friend!_

“Inanna? Inanna’s here?” He turned back to Thomas. “Sit tight. I’ll be right-“ He cut himself off as he saw that Thomas was fast asleep. Quietly, as to avoid waking him, Asra crept out of the room and down the stairs.

Sure enough, Inanna was sitting in the middle of the shop floor, looking up at him almost pleadingly. Asra knelt by her, smoothing a hand over her fur. “What is it?” he murmured. “Has something happened to Muriel?”

Faust listened intently for a second before speaking again. _Big friend sick._

“Him too?” Asra sighed, standing. “How in the world did he catch it? He’s never in the city! Hold on, Inanna. I’m coming. I just need to get something to help him.”

Asra stood and went back up the stairs. Thomas was still sleeping soundly. Moving silently, Asra got his bag, grateful that he’d taken so much of the medicine. He’d never have gotten Muriel to go into the city to get treated, especially when he didn't feel well. His bag retrieved, Asra made his way back out of the living space and down to the shop. "Lead on," he told Inanna. The wolf stood and trotted out of the shop, stopping to look back as Asra closed, locked, and warded the door.

The trip to the hut was uneventful, and Asra took a deep breath, enjoying the peace and calm. He hadn't realized how frazzled he was before; he was glad he told Julian he wouldn't be in tomorrow. He wanted to take care of Thomas, but he wanted just as much to take care of himself. Even if he didn't catch this illness, he needed a break. 

First things first, though. Muriel needed him.

He reached the hut a little after dark, and undid the protections on the door before entering. Muriel laid on the bed, buried in furs, and looked up with bloodshot eyes as Asra entered. "I told you not to bother him," Muriel muttered, sitting up.

Inanna trotted over to him and licked his hand as he reached out to pet him. "I'm glad she did," Asra said softly, approaching. "You look terrible."

"I feel terrible," he replied sullenly. 

"Let me have a look at you. How did you _get_ this? I know we're in the middle of an epidemic but you never go into the city."

"I went two days ago," he rumbled, suppressing a cough. "I wanted to get some spices... that's the last time I ever do that. I'll eat my eggs bland."

Asra managed a small smile, feeling Muriel's forehead and sweeping his magic over him. The same fever he'd seen in dozens of people that day raged in Muriel. "Well, you're in good company. It seems like most of the city has this. It's not pleasant but it hasn't been shown to be particularly dangerous. I have some medicine that will help the symptoms."

"I'm fine."

"I'm sure you will be, but you'll be so much less miserable if you just take it." Muriel set him with a stubborn glare and Asra suppressed an exasperated gasp. "Muriel, please. You're not going to lose your independence if you take medicine when you're sick." Hesitantly, Muriel reached out as Asra offered him three of the vials, and took them. Asra handed them over and stood. "Thomas has this, too. I need to get back to him. Will you be alright if I leave?"

"I would've been alright if you never came," Muriel grumbled.

"Well, I did. Drink one of those vials now, and don't take another one for at least eight hours. It should let you get a decent night's sleep before it wears off."

"... thank you." 

Asra could hear the gratitude in his voice. He hadn't actually wanted to suffer through this. He suppressed a smile and nodded. "Send Inanna if you get worse."

"No."

"Please?"

Muriel looked away. "Fine."

"Good. Take that now and go back to sleep. With any luck you'll start feeling better by the morning."

Muriel waved a hand, in a cross between "go away" and "goodbye" as he laid down and pulled the furs up over his head. Asra did smile then, thanked Inanna, and made his way out of the hut and back to the city. He was surprised Muriel had accepted his help; he tended to want to ride things like that out on his own, for as long as Asra had known him. Asra learned early how to ease pain and illness a little bit, but Muriel had always refused his help. It was a testament to how bad this illness was that Muriel was willing to accept help now. He was seriously reconsidering his determination to stay home with Thomas. If this illness lasted longer than a day or two, Julian would be unbearably swamped by the end of the day tomorrow. There wasn't much he could do for Thomas that he hadn't already done. He wanted to be there in case he needed something, but...

Asra was still mulling it over when he got home. He let himself in, gaze sweeping the shop, and stopped short, staring, not quite comprehending what he was seeing for several long, breathless minutes. Thomas was on the floor, crumpled haphazardly and utterly, completely still.


	8. Chapter 8

Asra's mind went completely blank as he stared, jaw slack. Thomas gave a low, pained moan, and that was enough to snap Asra out of it. He went to his knees beside him, gathering him up in his arms. Thomas was limp, lifeless, burning up. “What are you doing out of bed?” Asra said, fear making his voice tight.

“Had to... find you...” Thomas could barely speak. He tried to open his eyes, but they fluttered shut again immediately. Asra swept his magic over him, searching frantically for the source of the fever and weakness. “Faust, go get Ilya,” he gasped. Without even acknowledging him, Faust raced from Asra’s clothes and out the door. 

Asra gathered Thomas up in his arms and cradled him as he gently, carefully carried him back up the stairs. He set him back down in the bed and ran his hands through his hair, trying to force his racing, panicking mind to slow down, let him think this through. 

He needed to lower Thomas’s temperature. With that in mind, Asra settled down next to him, summoning cold to his hands and running them up and down Thomas’s body. As he did so, he tried to think of anything at all he could use to fight the fever that wouldn’t be dangerous with what Thomas had already been given. Asra’s blood ran cold as he realized that it wasn’t working; his fever was continuing to climb. It would become deadly soon if he couldn’t figure out how to stop it. “Please, no,” he whispered, frantic tears springing to his eyes. He wiped them away furiously. He needed to stay calm. 

Half an hour later, he heard a commotion downstairs, Faust’s voice in his mind calling him as he heard Julian shout, “Asra?! What’s going on? Where-?!”

“Up here!” Asra shouted back. He heard Julian’s footsteps on the stairs and the doctor burst into the living area, gaze settling on the scene before him, Faust in his hands, wrapped around one of his wrists. “Thank the gods,” Asra managed to gasp. “I didn’t know if you’d understand that I sent Faust to get you.”

“I didn’t, at first.” Julian came to sit with him on the side of the bed, and held out his hand to Asra. Faust slid from Julian’s hand onto Asra’s shoulder. “She wrapped around my arm and started tugging, and when I didn’t get the hint she squeezed me as hard as she could. What’s happened?”

“I went out to see Muriel, and when I came back, I found him collapsed downstairs with his fever dangerously high and rising. I can’t get it down or even stop it.”

“What are you doing to stop it?” Julian reached out and touched Thomas’s face, then jerked back. “You aren’t kidding,” he murmured. “We need to get that under control fast. What were you doing to get it down?”

“I was using magic to try to cool him.” Asra summoned the cold to his hand and held it over to Julian so he could feel it.

Julian shivered. “Well, if that’s not working,” he muttered, “then maybe we can sweat it out of him.”

Without missing a beat, Asra said, “Salamander, can you start a fire? As hot as you can possibly make it without burning the place down.”

In seconds, Asra felt the heat from the stove as he and Julian packed blankets around Thomas’s unconscious, shivering form. Shortly thereafter, Asra was sweating heavily, and he checked on Thomas. “Are we sure about this?” he murmured to Julian. “Are we going to give him heat stroke?”

“We’re fine.” Julian’s voice was calm, although Asra heard a tight undercurrent in it, betraying his fear. Asra tried not to think about it, turning his attention back to Thomas fully.

Hours passed. Asra and Julian rarely spoke to each other, the only words between them tense, fearful instructions and questions. Thomas’s fever continued to climb. “I don’t understand this,” Julian said finally, as he tried to rouse Thomas enough to take another dose of the medicine. “This should be working.”

“Is it possible this is magical?” Asra asked.

“If it is, we’re in trouble. We can’t fight a magical illness. The- the plague is proof of that.”

Asra looked down at Thomas, his heart aching painfully in his chest. “I’m going to try something,” he said finally, “but it’s dangerous.”

“What- What are you planning to-?”

“I’m going to try to reach him through my gate,” Asra replied grimly. “I’m not sure if it will work, but if it does, and this is a magical illness, I’m putting myself at risk of not being able to get back. I need you to let me tether myself to you. If I pull on the tether, you need to pull me back.”

Julian’s eyebrows knit together and dropped. “This sounds like awfully advanced magic. I’m not sure I’m qualified to help you with this.”

“What I mean asking of you is actually very simple. Thomas could do it in his state, if he was a bit less unconscious.” Asra bit his lip, looking down at him. “But while I’m away, keep treating him medically. I get the feeling that there’s both a magical and physical malady going on here.”

“How would that happen?” 

“I don’t know the details of it, but sometimes a person can... can shift their illness to their magic, as a way of easing symptoms. It’s very easy for that to go wrong.” Asra frowned. “That might’ve been why he was so desperate to find me that he was trying to leave. He must’ve done that and knew he messed it up.”

“If you don’t know the details of it- how are you going to combat it?”

“I don’t know, but we have to do something. He’s dying. I can’t lose him again, Ilya. I _can’t._ ”

Julian regarded him grimly. “I know,” he said finally. “I’ll help you in any way I can. Just show me how.”

Asra explained the tethering process to Julian, who listened with grave attention. When Asra had finished, Julian nodded. "This all sounds simple enough. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to pay attention to both you and him at the same time, but I'll try."

"That's all I can ask. I'm going to go to my gate now."

"Right." Julian streched out a hand and laid it on Asra's wrist. He felt Julian's magic, weak but capable, wrap around him, and he nodded. "Good luck, Asra. Don't get yourself killed by this thing."

"I have no intention on getting killed by this thing." Asra closed his eyes and breathed deep, emptying his mind of everything- even Thomas. He needed to be utterly focused if he was going to do this. 

It was difficult without a physical portal he could use- without a large enough body of water- but slowly, painfully slowly, the world fell away, giving way to Asra's gate. It was night there, and there was an uncomfortable heat that wasn't there before. He stretched out his magic, and grimaced, feeling the beginnings of illness at the edge of his consciousness. 

He didn't have time to ruminate on that now. He was getting sick- there was nothing he could do about that. He just needed it to hold off long enough to save Thomas. With a deep breath, he walked to one of the brightly colored pools of water, kneeling by it. He wasn't sure what he was doing; he'd never tried to go to Thomas's gate before, if it even existed yet. Asra had never gotten around to showing him how to build it; the fact of the matter was that they shared everything, even Asra's gate and familiar, and neither of them had felt any particular need for Thomas to have his own. At least, not that Asra was aware of. It was entirely possible that Thomas had done it himself. Asra hadn't had any instruction, after all, and Thomas was significantly more powerful than Asra was. 

Despite his misgivings, the longer he focused on Thomas, staring into the water, the more the water's reflection shifted and twisted to reflect something else. It darkened until it was almost completely black, but Asra had the distinct feeling that this was where he needed to go. He took a deep breath, then dove into the water and swam down into the darkness.

One moment he was submerged, and the next he wasn't. He wasn't even wet. "Thomas?" he called out into the darkness, and got no answer. He took a deep breath to center himself, closing his eyes. He could feel Thomas, out there in the darkness, languishing. He called his name again, fear laced in his voice. 

An answer shimmered through him, his fear amplified a dozen fold. A tight squeeze of pain constricted Asra’s heart. Thomas was terrified, in so much pain... he had to find him and put a stop to it. “I’m here,” he called out, struggling to keep his voice calm and even. “Just focus on my voice, Tommy.” He never used the diminutive for his lover’s name, but it felt right here, comforting. Thomas’s fear abated some, less intense, but still present. Asra picked a direction in the dark and started walking, trusting his intuition to guide him. 

He wasn’t walking long when a point of light interrupted the thick darkness all around him. He broke into a run towards that light. As he drew closer, he saw him: Thomas stood stark still, engulfed in thick, thorny vines that threatened to strangle him. Asra tentatively reached out and touched one of the vines, then withdrew hastily as the vine tightened around Thomas, choking him. 

He was at a loss. He didn’t know if Julian would immediately try to pull him back if he tried to contact him, but he had to try. Asra focused his magic, concentrating on Julian’s presence outside of Thomas’s gate. “Ilya? Can you hear me?”

There was a moment of hesitation, then: _Asra? Is that- is that you? What are you doing?_

“I have no idea. I’ve never done this before- but whatever it is, it’s working. I’m here, with Thomas. What’s killing him is definitely magical. I think he did what I was afraid he did. But we need to establish the physical part of the illness and kill that off, too, or it’s just going to come back.”

Asra felt a sweep of Julian’s magic. _It feels like it’s in his chest and head the strongest. I can’t tell if it’s viral or bacterial._

Delicately, Asra reached out as well. “What would we use if it’s viral? Skullcap, astragalus root? Knottwood?”

_All of those are good ideas. Do you have any of them?_

"All of them, down in the shop. It might take some looking, but they're all there."

_Will you be alright on your own while I'm looking?_

"I have to be. We'll try these things and if it doesn't work, will try others. I'll work on freeing him from the magical component of this."

_Right. Be careful_.

Asra cut off the psychic link to Julian then, turning back to the morass of vines and thorns. He reached out again, gingerly; the vines and thorns responded immediately, tightening. Thomas cried out. "Sorry!" Asra murmured, grimacing. "I'm so sorry, Thomas. Things are going to get worse before they get better- but they _will_ get better." With that declaration, he reached out and grasped one of the vines, closing his fingers tightly around it. Thomas screamed, and Asra choked back a sob before steeling himself and shutting out Thomas's voice, focusing entirely on channeling his magic into these vines.

* * *

Julian had gathered the ingredients and had made the potion to give Thomas; he just needed him to regain consciousness enough to take it now. He glanced between Asra and Thomas; Asra's "sleep" was peaceful and calm, but Thomas was getting more and more agitated as the seconds passed. "What are you _doing?_ " Julian murmured. He considered trying to reestablish the link that Asra had used to speak with him, but thought better of it. Whatever was going on, it was clear that Asra was concentrating. He didn't want to break that concentration.

He was starting to feel ill himself. He got up from his place beside the bed and retrieved one of the vials of cold medicine, downing it. He didn't feel too terribly yet, but he could feel it growing at the edge of his consciousness: a headache, a heavy feeling in his chest, a tickle in his throat, fatigue- although that last could've been because it was the middle of the night. He wiped the sweat from his brow and kept watching. 

Shortly after, he felt a sharp _tug_ in his gut, and he exhaled sharply. That was Asra. He closed his eyes, reaching out for the magician, finding his presence and reeling him back from Thomas's spirit. Asra opened his eyes with a deep breath, looking exhausted. "How is he?" he asked immediately.

Julian checked Thomas's temperature and breathing. His breath came easier than it had before, and his fever seemed to be getting better. "Whatever you did, it worked," Julian told him. Asra breathed a sigh of relief before saying, "He's not out of the woods yet. His fever is still far too high. It was for too long. I'm afraid his fever being too high may have damaged his mind."

Asra paled at that, and then set his jaw in determination. "If it damaged his mind, then we're just going to have to help him heal it. I taught him how to be a person from the ground up. It _can't_ be worse than that."

Julian shook his head. "It can and often is. When someone's mind is damaged, it's intensely difficult to recover from it. I'm not saying it can't be done, but I am saying that we might have our work cut out for us to rehabilitate him."

"It doesn't matter. If it needs to be done, then it needs to be done." Asra's gaze fixed on the stove, at the pot that contained the medicine Julian had concocted. "How are we going to get him to take that?" he murmured, more to himself than to Julian.

Julian got up and went to the stove. "He has to be awake to take it, or at least conscious enough to swallow. Do you think you can rouse him? That'll be a good test to see how much damage was done."

Asra nodded and moved to sit next to Thomas's head, gently stroking his face and calling his name. Julian was right; he wasn't as hot as he had been, but Asra could still feel it radiating off of him. As the seconds passed, Asra's fear began to take root again. He couldn't wake him up. He _had_ to wake him up, but he _couldn't_. Julian crept closer as Asra stretched his magic out over Thomas, calling to him, begging him to open his eyes, if only for a few minutes.

He almost startled as he felt Julian's magic join his, gently calling to Thomas. Asra wove his magic with Julian's strengthening both of them, renewing his call. He held his breath as Thomas’s eyes slowly opened and focused on him, dull and glassy- but present. “Asra?” he whispered.

Asra bent over him, unable to hold back tears of relief. Bewildered, Thomas weakly entangled his fingers in Asra’s hair, looking over his shaking shoulder to Julian. “Hello,” Julian said, exhaustion in his smile. “You gave us quite a scare, Thomas. How’re you feeling?”

“Like death warmed over,” Thomas whispered, closing his eyes. “I had the strangest dream... Asra was there with me, and he was trying to free me from these thorny vines... they kept tightening every time he got one off of me. It hurt so much...”

“That wasn’t a dream,” Asra said, sniffling, pulling away from him. I was really there. We have to have a talk about you using magic you’re not trained in, Thomas.” Asra gave a watery chuckle as Thomas’s pale face flushed at that.

“That will be for later,” Julian said, “when you’ve both recovered from this illness. Can you sit up, Thomas? I need you to take something. You too, Asra. I could sense it when you reached out to me while you were with Thomas. You’re coming down with it, too.”

“So are you,” Asra retorted mildly, helping Thomas sit up.

Julian held a mug to Thomas’s lips, letting him drink the medicine, and then Asra let him down again. “That’s why I made enough for all three of us. It won’t stop it but it should lessen the severity.”

He let Asra drink next as Thomas let out a puff of breath. “I’m sorry... it’s my fault-“

“Hogwash. Asra and I were around sick people all day. Any of those people could've given it to us." He sighed. "Although I suggest we try to rest too, Asra. Thomas needs to be monitored but we're going to feel it if we're drop-dead exhausted when this hits us."

Asra passed the mug to Julian. "You're right. I'll stay up with him while you get some rest. The chair over by the window is a lot more comfortable than it looks. It's very easy to fall asleep in."

"Wake me in four hours," Julian said, once he'd drained the mug, "and make another batch of this medicine. I wrote down what I did- the instructions are on the cupboard. Now then, I bid you both a good night."

Julian wandered over to the chair by the window. Asra looked back down at Thomas to see him staring at him. "Yes?" he said, brushing a sweat-damp lock of hair from his forehead. "What can I do for you?"

"How did you find me?" he whispered. 

"It's complicated. But when we're both well again, I'll show you how to build your own gate. It's long overdue, and it would've made things so much easier if you had one." He bent and kissed him on the forehead. "Not that I plan on ever letting you get this sick again. Go back to sleep, my love. With any luck, this medicine will help you fight it off now."

Thomas closed his eyes and nuzzled down into the blankets with a sigh, leaving Asra sitting beside him, lightly stroking his hair. When he was certain Thomas was asleep again, he rose and got to work on Julian's formula.


End file.
